The death without a funeral--exactly how I've been feeling. I feel like my ex has died, and I'm left with an angry ghost and a mountain of legal bills. I'm so sorry, Formyboys, it's just so hard.
My therapist also mentioned the 6 month rule. Clearly I have a "broken picker" but 5+ years of singledom seems like a long time. On the other hand, I have 3 kids to raise and don't know how I would add another person into the mix! I was thinking about starting a thread on broken pickers. My hairdresser's father was an A, her ex is an A, she spent 6 years single, working on herself, and the first guy she starts dating is almost a year into sobriety. For me, addiction of any sort is a deal breaker! I know that sounds like black and white thinking, but honestly, I'd rather be single than have addiction in my life.
I'm tapping this out on my phone, so pardon any typos. Formyboys, there are a lot of us in the same situation and it is heartbreaking. I can take responsibility for my part of the situation, but still, I have experienced a great loss and shouldered a huge responsibility at the same time. ((Hugs)) to you.