DEVASTATED---Thanks for the post!! I, too, have FINALLY admitted that my daughters journey and recovery are her own. I still have many dark days, but I'm really trying to take care of myself, and think of what the effects of the alcohol in our family has done to my 7-year old grand- daughter also. (The baby is only 10 months and too little yet to understand). It terrifies me in many ways that my granddaughter's daddy won't admit to HIS drinking problem, and comes home all the time wasted and often mean to my daughter and the kids. It is all I can do not to threaten him with the police---but the day may yet come. My daughter knows that he has a problem, but won't leave him for any length of time. Once, when she did finally leave him and came home to me---he blamed ME for "taking them away from him", and she went back to him because he soft-talked her into it. She then got pregnant with my little grandson---and now she feels even more trapped. She sees that her sister is now in recovery and staying with me, and I'm hoping that it will make her open her eyes to what her boyfriend (NO, he never married her!!) is doing---not only to his life, but to hers and the kids!!! He came home tonight when I was there visiting---and had a beer in his hand!! It made me sick, because the baby crawled over to him and put his arms up for his daddy to take him. These little kids need a decent male figure in their lives so badly, and he is NEVER going to change. He just doesn't seem to have the type of incentive to---or he would get a decent job, stop the drinking---and take decent care of his family. It's insane, isn't it??? My 7-year old granddaughter is like a little, old lady---so worrisome about everything. She's already a little enabler, because she went to the refrigerator and got her daddy a beer when he asked her to. (ANY attention is better than none????) I try every chance I get to give her some good guidance---but she's only with me on occasional weekends, and has to go back to the same environment. It's the saddest departure for me every time I have to take the kids back. As much as I love my dgt., I would just love to take these kids and raise them as my own. I know that I can't shield them from the world, but I could try to instill some decent values in them, and give them some positive things to think about. Those little angels are my life!! So, devastated, I do understand your thoughts on your grandchild---and thanks for reminding me how much we have to give!!! Hugs back!!!