WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!
Hi, Kathy---welcome!! I know that you will find much consolation and support on these boards---I know that I have in the short time since I found it. Many of us have been through similar experiences with spouses, kids, parents, etc. It's a difficult thing to put an invisible wall around your emotions, but quite necessary if you want to stay sane. My grown daughter is the alcoholic and has attempted to quit many times. She has lived on her own for many years and would move around with company promotions, etc. (She always called herself a "functional drunk"!!). There have been times in the past when she would beg me to visit and ask me herself to dump all the alcohol down the drain because she said she wanted to quit. I would do it, of course, only to find when I returned to my own hometown that she would almost immediately go out and buy more!!! I worried myself half to death (esp. after she went through ARD for a DUI), but FINALLY had to admit to myself that only she could make the decision herself. Well, to make it short----she hit bottom about 6 weeks ago and ended up in the ER in the city where she lived. She thought her "heart was going to explode" (and quite possibly could have) from the bender she had been on for about 10 days!! She said she knew she needed help and wanted to come home to get it. It took 4 days to get her into a rehab about 30 minutes from my home, and those 4 days were the longest of my life!!!! She went through a 28 day program and has improved in her outlook so much. I really think she wants it this time---but, as I said, she had to make the decision herself before it could work. She's living with me for now until she can get back on her feet financially (she had quit her high-paying job!!)---but, I've vowed to myself, that if things don't work out with her here---that I HAVE to take care of myself first!!!! I, too, as many here on the boards---have begun attending Alanon meetings and reading the literature. Important also, is the wonderful people that I have met on these boards---and I come back often just to gain strength. You will too, Kathy----so take the steps you need to start caring for yourself. This is truly a family disease---and don't EVER underestimate the importance of "YOU"!!!! God bless you in your journey!!