So, Saturday night abf was left alone and relapsed.
I returned the next morning (we live together) to find the oh so familiar remorse and general mess. Relapse continued into a bender that is still going on. I myself suffered a codie relapse. The flushing of substances, the yelling, the calling his dealer, the believing empty addict promises, believing I could stop this. I guess I had stopped working my steps too because when it sank in that this was really happening after six months of blissful sobriety, I just snapped. Today is the first day that I'm truly trying to detach and accept that I can only change things for myself. I went to work, and when I came home to drunk abf, I left to meet up with friends. I'm beginning to understand the future implications of his addiction, and considering separation, although it is still too hard to think about committing to it. I truly believe that we are meant to be together, but only if he can get sober and be serious about recovery. He doesn't believe in AA and has a hard time becoming humble and reaching out to other people. I am going to try to let this run this course since I don't think he's ever had to truly on his own reach rock bottom and turn it around. I think he has been doing it for other people the whole time. It'll be hard because we live together, but I'm praying to my higher power to give me strength. I would appreciate all the prayers and advice that you can send my way!