Hey Des, I just want to reinforce the posts from others that say he wanted to drink A LOT and he manufactured the argument as an excuse. I know it's hard, but don't take it personally, if you can find it in your heart, pity him.
I don't think we should live our lives through our children, but I've found my adult children a great comfort during difficult times. You sound close to yours and they might be a resource for you.
As for your financial position, rather than looking for a man, how about aiming to live the best possible life within your constraints. Write yourself a list of things you can do to improve your life. You have many resources you can draw on online as well as SR.