My previous relationships have been with alcoholics also.
you've got a faulty PICKER. for reasons, probably long unresolved, you keep trying to recreate a certain dynamic (with an alcoholic) to see if THIS time you can get it to work out right.
only, it never will. alanon would be a GREAT place for you to be able to focus on you and the choices you make, and how to go back thru your life, see the patterns, learn the whys and then once settled, begin to make new clear choices. whenever we make choices in partners that are NEED based, we setup a codependent cycle. they become as critical as our organs, we feel we cannot live without them.
so stop the drama. you do NOT want to DIE. this guy is a poor choice....FOR YOU. so be it. be done for good this time. only you can make the changes to bring about a different desired result.