I keep trying to think of the end of the night when I am blacked out and possibly lying in my own pee. I keep trying to remember that.
That's a good thing to think about. My nights would always end like that too. Laying on the couch covered in my own pee and super hungover.
It took me about a year to stop having strong cravings like that during the weekends. I know that is not something you wanted to hear, but maybe it will be different for you. I got (and stayed) sober by going to AA. I got a sponsor and started working the 12 steps of AA. I also started to realize just how many people out there
don't drink at all and if they do, just how often people will leave half-empty glasses of beer at the table (as if it were a glass of coke)! It was so insane to me at first but I started to realize just how insane
I was when it came to alcohol!