A friend of mine once told me many many moons ago that when you are at a fork in the road, choose the hardest...the one you know you should do but don't want to really do. That simplified a lot stuff for me. Now I usually always know what I need to do and can focus on just how to do it.
I've been through a few breakups and just had one a few days ago. It never gets easier. It does however feel different the longer you have at taking care of yourself though. Still is sad. Just not as devastating.
An ending relationship feels a lot like quitting drinking to me sometimes. And I have to kind of go through the same process to make sense of it.
In the beginning I missed a drink and I missed them.
If I reminded myself what wasn't working and what wasn't good for me on both, the sad feeling would eventually pass with time...just like a craving.
If I focused on what was best for me and what was working. I actually would feel...dare I say...proud of myself and I started to feel better. I bounce back and forth on the missing them and the okay I moved on. Just the way it is at first.
I can care about someone from a distance and wish them nothing but good and still take care of me. But I have to have distance to have the room to move on.
I hope you feel good about taking care of you. Keep it up!