Hello innamorata, I can relate to almost everything you said here. I have lost out on a lot that life has to offer me due to fear of people, shyness and anti-social tendancies. All of the issues you mentioned just cause so much stress in my life! I turned to alcohol for years. I became a full blown alcoholic quickly and needed it to get by daily. I quit drinking earlier this year because I had to - the drink finally did me in - I sunk to new lows. I am doing fairly well in with the alcohol recovery. But the social problems that I have are still somthing I need to work on. I believe I have some huge self esteem issues. Most of them started durring junior high school years, where I was also picked on and bullied. One good thing that I am doing today is I am finally talking this stuff over with a therapist. Not sure if its helping much yet (probably because I am still not opening up completely), but I guess its a start.