Originally Posted by
hopeful4 
It is just so unfair. Here he screws up and I am the one who takes the brunt of it just like always.
I try to remind myself that the kids get snappy with me because they are
comfortable doing so. They
don't do it with my husband because they know there will be some sort of painful backlash. Yes, I may snap back if I've let my frustration or anxiety level get too high without dealing with it. Or, if I'm clear headed, I may quietly remind them that how we treat others affects how they will treat us. I don't, however, make them feel like their feelings are wrong, unfair, or unjustified, nor do I go off the deep end and revoke all privileges over something minor (like their father would.)
I guess that's my way of saying - take it as a compliment.
Your daughter is secure enough in her relationship with you to air her feelings of frustration & anger as opposed to stuffing them. She knows you will still love her and be there for her no matter what.