Ahhh...help!!!

Old 11-14-2013, 07:15 AM
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And it never ends. So this morning I can tell DD (age 14) is upset with me, snappy and smart mouth. I correct her. She says "Whats your problem!" I know it is stress. I know it is not me. I know she is venting.

It is just so unfair. Here he screws up and I am the one who takes the brunt of it just like always. He tried to get a little high and mighty on the phone this morning. I put a stop to that really quickly...quoted the three C's to him (you all would have been proud) and ended up saying what I had to say and hanging up. Going on about my day. He has band practice at church tonight of all things, so my girls and I will hang out again which is fine w/me.
I guess I just feel blah and sad that my kids who I am trying to protect the most cannot really see it because of his crap he pulls. No one ever said life would be fair, I say that all the time, and boy is that right.

Thanks for letting me vent. Blessings!
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Old 11-14-2013, 07:27 AM
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hopeful4--did you and your daughter talk about what is stressing her?

I don't know if this will help, but this is what I used to do. When they got snarky, it would pull them to the side and say something like this: "You know that one of the rules of this home is that we don't get to speak disrespectfully to each other--but, you ARE allowed to speak. I want to h ear what is o n your mind--so, I am going to sit here with y ou and listen to anything you h ave to say (whether I agree with you or not)."
This did wonders toward diffusing their raging whatevers.

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Old 11-14-2013, 07:36 AM
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Dandylion....that sounds great. Unfortunately we were in the car on the way to school with an extra friend and my little daughter in there too, so it was very rush rush. I am going to say that to her tonight though....what a great thing to say. Thank you so much!!!
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Old 11-14-2013, 07:41 AM
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Originally Posted by hopeful4 View Post
It is just so unfair. Here he screws up and I am the one who takes the brunt of it just like always.
I try to remind myself that the kids get snappy with me because they are comfortable doing so. They don't do it with my husband because they know there will be some sort of painful backlash. Yes, I may snap back if I've let my frustration or anxiety level get too high without dealing with it. Or, if I'm clear headed, I may quietly remind them that how we treat others affects how they will treat us. I don't, however, make them feel like their feelings are wrong, unfair, or unjustified, nor do I go off the deep end and revoke all privileges over something minor (like their father would.)

I guess that's my way of saying - take it as a compliment. Your daughter is secure enough in her relationship with you to air her feelings of frustration & anger as opposed to stuffing them. She knows you will still love her and be there for her no matter what.
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