So I'm (cautiously) happy to report that my AD has been sober since detox on 11/1. She is still with my BIL who has her pretty much on lockdown ie: no phone, no comp, no going out. She's in the next county so she doesn't have any of her old stimulus around her. Tomorrow is the first of 3 court dates this week. She still has the warrant from town A but needs to appear in town B tomorrow and Thursday and town C on Friday. Will the warrant from town A show up tomorrow at town B when she appears? Will they be taking her away in cuffs in front of me? Will they keep her ...how long? My BIL brought her up to our house on Fri. She looked good. Yesterday he said she's getting "antsy" to go go out and bored. I should be thrilled that she is clean. I'm afraid to get my hopes up though. I've seen this happen each time. She's great at first. Her eyes are bright again, she talks like the child I remember, she has good intentions. You can only "babysit" for so long. Once she regains some priveledges back....she creeps into that world again. Lies, lies and more lies. My trust for her is soo beyond broken. My husband said the other night that after she clears up this court stuff he wants her to come home. That scares the living crap out of me. She would be back in this town with all of the temptation again. She has never, ever been able to keep a job. Then she'll say things like...well NA tells you not to make any changes the first year. They also say don't get into a relationship ...especially one with another addict from the meetings! She picks and chooses which rules to follow. I'm having a lot of anxiety about what is going to happen tomorrow.
The other thing is that we are invited to go to Florida to be with my husbands family for Christmas.there is family coming from France that my husband has never met. My 13 yo and I went there over the summer to meet the cousin who is her age who came to Florida to meet us. My 13yo has been sky ping with him for almost a year. They love each other and hit it off great. My husbands aunt is very spiritual. I had a fabulous time with her.she feeds my soul and I was able to come home in a much better place even in the midst of the chaos. AD had gotten arrested while we were there. My 13yo is dieing to go. I really want to go. It would mean leaving my AD behind and also my son 21 yo. He is also not on the right path. Heavy pot smoker, no ambition, no desire to get a "real" job because he might have to take a drug test. Last year my son and my AD sold the precious gifts we got them (iPad minis). Christmas here would just be us, me shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning it all up by myself. Do you think it's ok to leave them behind? My husband feels bad because his mother was NEVER home on Christmas and doesn't want them to feel that they have nowhere to go. I explained to him this is not the same situation. We have catered to them forever. Our 13 yo is the one that needs attention right now. Maybe it's a good thing if they ,it's us and see how their actions and decisions might cause them to be uncomfortable. Am I being selfish?
I'm sorry this is so long. Haven't posted in a awhile.