Dreams for our children/grandchildren
Hello Moms and Mums, Dads and Pops!
There have been a lot of threads lately written by parents who are so hurt and heartbroken over what they perceive as the lost futures of their children.
I've had many conversations with my parents about my sister, a bright, charming woman who does not have a job apart from helping my parents on their farm. An alcoholic and powder cocaine addict in recovery--but she has other problems.
As a child, she was soooooo good in school. Literally could have excelled at so many things, but does not.
My husband and I have talked often about how his son is also bright, charming, talented....and an alcoholic, crack addict, and poly-substance abuser mostly in recovery. He has a BS in a scientific field, and could also have excelled at so many things. At this point, we are grateful that he again has a job. He works at a grocery store.
I know for my parents and for my husband and I--there was disappointment and probably even anger for a long time. For my stepson, it will take some time before his prior work and jail record are far enough in the past that they no longer affect his job search results.
Mr. S and I have also come to accept that what we want for his son is not what he wants for himself. We support him in his efforts to do that 'next right thing' and are happy that in today's economy he at least has a job!
My parents have also come to finally (mostly) accept my sister's decisions and actions as hers to take.
How has that struggle been for you? When or have you come to accept that your child/step child/grandchild's life may not look like what you had planned, but it can still be good and fruitful in its own way?