That's exactly how I feel. Well if you figure it out please share. Others have said what we did to survive is so ingrained that we don't see it as a problem, and I get that. It's very hard to see what saved your life as wrong. I guess if it doesn't serve a purpose anymore and I've heard that, but I can't even see if it doesn't serve a purpose. Maybe I have let go of those too long a go to remember.