Originally Posted by
Twofish 
Dear Mr. Hammer, With most respect to you, I have been hearing about the BPD so often in meetings. It's the latest cure for the addiction out there. Mental illness being blamed for a mental illness. It's giving a lot of moms this false sense of hope that blaming BPD or Bipolar on why their loved ones have become addicts seems so sad to me. There may be a connection to each illness, but IMO one doesn't necessarily cause the other. I have seen many kids get sober only to have their psychiatrists put them on strong medications to maintain their sobriety. Just my observation, it has happened to 1 of my ADs. BTW....how is Mrs. hammer these days? TF
I will not go too deep for consideration of trashing and hijacking someone else's threads. But if you have been hearing something, you may want to consider listening to some of it. Learned that from a blind lady at an Alanon meeting. Go figure.
As far as the OP, the daughter fits the profile and from what I think was indicated in the first post, she actually has the diagnosis? Is that correct? BPD is just about anything BUT a cure or sense of hope, false or otherwise. All you have to do is hit that bpdfamily website to observe that.
It now appears to be driven by a dysfunctioning portion of the brain, called the Amygdala. For anyone with more or deeper interest, search Hyperactive Amygdala. Many of the other Personality Disorders that are often associated with Chronic Addiction also seem to be centered around this area, as well.
While simple addictions -- alcohol, drugs or otherwise -- do have some some hope and cures, BPD at this point does not. Mood stabilizers may help some but do not actually cure it. There are some therapies, such as DBT that have some success, but it takes a very motivated individual to do that work.
As far as Mrs. Hammer, I now understand what I was told in my first Alanon meeting -- "[Hammer], [Mrs. Hammer] is not your problem." I am good with that, now. I am working my program, and hope she does well in her program. Oddly enough she is now working in Addiction Counseling with Chronic Long Term Addicts, most of whom have Personality Disorders, including BPD. Fight fire with fire, I suppose?
Regarding the outcomes in relation to the 12 Step / Big Book model . . . it is in there, too. Perhaps that offers some hope, which I do not see as false.
Big Book On Line - Table of Contents
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From the opening of "How It Works," Chapter 5:
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.