WTBH, I am so sorry you are going through this tough times. During my divorce from XAW the Judge (Female) had no regard to the information on her drinking. XAW normal routine was to hit the bar just after work then drive home intoxicated then would drink two large bottles of wine each night. I had credit card statements showing between $500 to $1000 dollars a week in bar tabs and alcohol purchases. The judge simply did not care. Long story short I lost much financially including having to pay for a large portion of her new Lexus and surrendering half of my inheritance I had just received from my father a few month prior to the divorce. I was the parent that always did things with my kids and took them to their extra curricular activities and paid the vast majority of any of their expenses. Judge did not care. Now we are just a year past the divorce and fortunately my kids are late teens and they are now seeing the reality of the situation and are both with me 90% of the time. I get zero child support have lost so much financially. My dream of retiring early is gone. What I do have is peace of mind and the house is very peaceful now and the kids feel safe there. Alanon has helped me tremendously and going to open AA meetings to understand the disease has helped so much. The tools I acquired helped me diffuse or not get drawn into the merry go round. I do my very best every day and leave the rest to my Higher Power. Staying the high road has worked out as far as my relationship with my children. The money is just money and I will make more. My dignity, reputation and relationships are worth so much more than any amount of money. Best of luck and sending you hugs and prayers.