Scared
Hi all. I'm new here. I'm fresh out of detox (read my story in the intro thread). Not even a week yet. But I haven't had a drink since the 25th of last month.
Right now, I'm handling not drinking pretty well. I look at my bruises from the hospital (from IVs and fighting the nurses), and just say "Wow. What did I freaking do?" And I have belly issues from drinking. And on meds for it and I hate taking pills. But if I don't, I'll be in major pain. And what I did to those nurses makes me sad for them and mad at myself (I'm going to visit them in the hospital on my own will and apologize to them on Friday). These things are putting off the cravings a bit.
Like I said. I do have cravings. BUT I don't have a car (in the shop), and my husband drives his to work (we live in the middle of nowhere). So I can't just jump in the car and drive to the liquor store and buy a bottle at the moment. What's going to happen when I get my car back and a craving hits? I'm not working at the moment, and I used to have "spiked" coffee in the morning, and, at least, a pint at night.
I was also what they call a "fructional drunk." I could drink but still fuction normally if I had to, and I did. Yes, even at work, which was dangerous, because I am a machinist. I'm scared to do that again. I lost too many jobs over it. Not to mention, another DWI (got one 4 years ago).