MCPlayer
Hey, I'm surprised there have not been more responses here to your cry for help. This is only my 4th day sober, and don't feel qualified to offer any help to you, but I do know that drinking to mask depression works....unfortunately you end up with two problems, instead of one, and many of the decisions you make while drinking may be unwise. I regret many of the terrible decisions I made. If you can admit that you have a problem, and make the decision to help yourself, then that is the first step.
You have to WANT to do it.
Good luck in finding yourself.
I can remember my dreams now for the first time in years.