yes it is fair
for you to be happy.
I will share what happened to me and mine.
I had been telling my AH for a long time that he was ruining a life we built together . He was ruining our family. I did this every couple of months or so for several years. I never went off on him about his drinking, i had detatched from his drinking long ago.I do not consider myself to be a codie. I had gone on with my and my childrens life for as far back as i can remember. My AH was one that worked every day, came home and started drinking around 8 or so and drank until he passed out EVERY nite.
In June 2003 I hit my bottom, I told my AH that I was done, I wanted a divorce.
I was tired of his drinking and all that it entailed, we did nothing together as a couple anymore. Didnt go out at nite cause he had to be at home so he could drink............................................. ........ I still went out with friends and had a good time, he stayed at home and after the kids went to bed he would start drinking.
The day after I told him this he QUIT drinking cold turkey !!!!
Still got a divorce and I and 1/2 of the kids are happier than we have been in a LONG time.
He says to this day, he has not had a drink. But what he did say to me during the divorce pissed me off then and stilll does today.
His words were " I knew you were depressed and not happy about my drinking, I was just not ready to quit. I figured you would just keep putting up with it."
Take what you want and leave he rest, this is just what happened in my case.