Well.....
After I found my husband's pills, left them alone, I later decided to hand them to him. He was shocked especially when I said it's your life and you have every right to live it the way you want. I meant it too. I was not angry or emotional, I just was finally in acceptance.
He later told me he flushed them. I simply said OH OK, good for you but silently I thought....oh, sure you did and went on about my day. He then started going back to meetings, called his sponsor, got his NA books, workbook and notebook out.
Then one day, he told me he really wanted to go out for a couple of beers. I said matter of factly "Ok, if that's what you to do then you should go" and went on about my business. He later thanked me for not reacting in a negative way. He worked it out in his own mind and decided it wasn't a good idea without any input from me. I finally learned that my input was not helpful, wanted and probably counter productive.
He is still planning to take Naltrexone, actually he started the pills yesterday on day 12? of being off opiates but has an appointment for the shot. He feels he needs it and that is his choice.
Last night, he asked me to go with him to a bond fire meeting to listen to a speaker. The speaker was very good and the message I heard loud and clear was to stay out of God's way, you can not help anyway. Boy, did it take me a long time to finally "get" that but I felt like God was speaking directly to me last night.
So....I see my husband working the recovery again I have wanted him to....but I am not. He asked me in a very heartfelt, sincere way.....if I would please start going back to alanon meetings and seeing my therapist again. I wasn't ready to just yet, I am not sure why but I have decided today I am going to recommit myself to my recovery for me, because I need and deserve it.
The irony is that so many of us ask, plead or pray for our addicted love ones to change, do the hard work and get healthy but are so unwilling to do it ourselves. I, for one, have been very guilty of it.
The irony.........
