formyboys, I remember you quite well!! As a matter of fact, I have wondered whatever happened with you and the boys.
I am so glad to hear that you successfully got over the "hump" of the move--we all know how major that k ind of move is! It does sound like your overall situation is much improved over what you were living, before.
To be very honest with you, formyboys, I feel like you are giving far too much "head space" to guilt and taking responsibility for what is not yours. (these are things that we co-dependents are famous for). You did not take him away from his dad!! You are not responsible for the relationship between him and his dad---I know that you have never tried to block contact between the two of them.
My dear--try to look at this business of the "other woman" in a different way. You were not rejected by an alcoholic--you chose not to live in alcoholism. You rejected the alcoholic home and life---that, in my opinion, was a healthy choice. He went to another enabler. THIS IS NOT ABOUT ANY DEFICIT IN YOU!!
I think as you continue to grow within your self--you will come to see this, one day.
For my boys--I say all this, not in criticism, but in support of you. Don't beat-up so much on yourself! This is an order.
very sincerely,
dandylion
****I am sooo glad that you came back and let us know how you are doing!!!