It has been at least 6-8 months since I have posted. I went through a big move, and between all the moving, resetting internet service and email I lost my password and had to reset my account. The sight has me as never posting but I did for quite awhile and got really good and caring responds from a lot of you.
In hopes of refreshing anyones memory, in a nut shell, married to an A for 18 years (ours divorce was final in March) He has almost 4 years sober. I left because of his drinking, he went into a program and hit AA with a vengeance. We were on the road (so I thought) to working it out. Caught him in an affair, he wanted a divorce and that was that. He then proceeded to drag me through it for the next 18 months, our then 15 yr old son started experimenting with drugs and acting out defiantly..police were called several times when he would not come home. I put him through a local chemical dep. program for teens which dad did not attend once. some may remember the story of him letting our family dog waste away in his back yard with a tumor before he finally called a vet to come to his house and put her to sleep. Things were escalating with our son, he was acting out in order to gt his dads attention and it just never worked so he continued to keep taking it up a notch. I finally decided a move to Alabama to be near my family was my best choice.
We are here and getting settled, got here in June. He has started school and making up credits that he lost by flunking most of his classes sophomore year. Playing on the school baseball team. I got a great job at the hospital here and we found a little farm house on 20 acres .....I could not love this house more. Just leasing it but I feel like its home.
Dad is still with the woman. He at first had a hard time when we left. We drove and he called or text at least 4 times a day until we got here. It was the most contact we had with him in over a year. He was so caring and concerned.....until we arrived. Then it went back to not really hearing from him at all. That was to be expected and didn't surprise me at all. He seems relieved now that we are gone and he doesn't have to deal with the after math from our son and can focus on his gf. And now he has a reason that he is not involved with him...as he says "its hard to parent when your 3000 miles away"...I don't ask what his excuse was when we were 3 blocks away...it would be pointless.
Son still has a lot of anger....but not nearly as much as he did 6 months ago when he was punching holes in my walls and taking off. my problem is I feel like hes going to hate me when he gets older, I moved him away from his dad. He wanted to move, and dad put up absolutely no resistance, and I really believe he is better here with my uncle and brothers supporting him. and grama cooking his favorite foods all the time
...but I still have this horrible feeling that he and his dad will never have a relationship because I moved so far away. Dad doesn't even attempt to keep any kind of communication going. he will text me and ask how he is and I say fine and that's the end of the conversation. Ive told him to call him or text him...he says "he never answers me".....
And Im still working on my issues...feeling dumped by an alcoholic. Resentful that he left our family for another woman who seems to me is an alcoholic herself. he still has no contact with my 2 older sons who he raised as his own for 16 years. And understanding why after being with him for years through his drinking and then I catch him in bed with another woman and he treats me like im the one who did something wrong...like Im the crazy ex wife ...I hate that...
well just wanted to check in, see if anyone remembered me. Im still here...a little bitter and bruised but still here.
