I hope things all work out for you and your family.
You are afraid of having to make difficult decisions, and this just may be the case, and I know for me it helped to have a plan in place. I made a list of hostels and rehabs, of meetings in our city, and of detox centres where my son could go for help.
Doing that helped me remember that he DID have options that did not include me, and that he did have some place to go if he chose recovery. If he chose against recovery, then he was on his own.
I hope you never have to go through that, my prayers are out for all of you.
Hugs