ejohn18

My son moved home today and is actually excited about it. Hasn't used for 1 week, and I fear we will soon be facing a very difficult situation. Had to lay down very strict rules. Husband is not too happy but at least he is willing to talk about it, which is an improvement to where we were 2 weeks ago. Fear of the unknown and fear of failure plague us all. Sometimes it seems the stress is unbearable. I just have to take a deep breath and remember one day at a time. I am so thankful for this site that allows me to vent. Thank you all for listening and please keep my family in your prayers. Much love and prayers to all.

suki44883

Your family is in my prayers, ejohn. ((((HUGS))))

Ann

I hope things all work out for you and your family.

You are afraid of having to make difficult decisions, and this just may be the case, and I know for me it helped to have a plan in place. I made a list of hostels and rehabs, of meetings in our city, and of detox centres where my son could go for help.

Doing that helped me remember that he DID have options that did not include me, and that he did have some place to go if he chose recovery. If he chose against recovery, then he was on his own.

I hope you never have to go through that, my prayers are out for all of you.

Hugs

Kindeyes

One day at a time......

You and your dear son will be in my prayers.

gentle hugs
ke

ejohn18

Well, things seem to be going well. However, I had no idea how deep my sons addiction is. As I search his belongings, the amount of paraphernalia I am finding is crazy. He is well aware that while living under my roof, I will not tolerate any such things in my home. Even he admits he has no idea what I will find and is perfectly fine with it going in the garbage. He seems to be really trying and I want to believe him,but it will take quite some time for him to regain my trust.

Txhelp

What is he doing to earn his keep?

ejohn18

My son works every day, 7 days a week sometimes 16 hours a day. We are working with him to get his financial affairs in order. He is required to buy groceries, help with things around the house, and stay out of trouble. He is more than willing to do whatever it takes to get his life back on the right track. Up until now he has been very upset with the idea of moving home. But now I see the excitement in his eyes. I only hope it is for the right reason.

Twofish

Hi E, This all sounds so hopeful to me! And you're exactly right, trust takes a very long Time to regain. Add a few meetings around his spare time, maybe meetings where parents or loved ones can go too in another room? Keep him busy! Has he gone thru detox/rehab? Even outpatient 1:1 therapy is so helpful to your RAS and to you too! Things are looking hopeful, did you both have a good weekend? We did, it's possible!!! Take care, TF

ejohn18

I completely agree that 1:1 therapy will be needed. He has never dealt with the death of his dad 2 1/2 years ago. That seems to be when this whole mess started. He started using to forget and to numb his pain. I continue to encourage him and educate myself on ways that I can ease his difficult journey. He has a long road ahead of him and we are even talking about inpatient rehab. He is ready and willing and that seems to be half the battle with an addict.
Glad to hear you had a good weekend. Will continue to keep your family in my prayers.
One day at a time my friend.
EJ

needingabreak

Ejohn, It sounds like things are going really well for your son. I will pray for your son and your family.

Twofish

Hi E, Yes, of course he only knows, but it does seem like he is ready and does have the desire to achieve total sobriety and rejoin us in our sober life. Love your child, the road is as long as the roller coaster is airborne. You're a good mom, I can just feel it through the iPad, something about you. Watch your child walk the road back and be there for him, walk together if he needs you and mostly take care of yourself, the example you show him is just another form of support to show your beloved AS. Always here for you, we never close! TF

ejohn18

I truly am blessed to have found this site. I was looking just for guidance and feel like I have found so much more. Everyone's kind words help to keep me strong. I appreciate each and every one of you. God Bess you all.

Txhelp

It sounds very promising. Its good that he is.being responsible and contributing. It helps with his self worth...which is usually in the toilet.

Twofish

Hi E, So far so promising! I am truly happy for you. Don't worry about little setbacks, try to leave the guilt and frustration alone. The AV is still in his mind preparing for a fight...bring it on! You have been taught the tools to put up a good fight for your child. Let the AV have it's tantrum, so what! With support it has no chance. Take care, TF

hopeful4

I am so happy it is going well. Take a little bit to enjoy that in this moment! I have to say, I am very impressed. So many parents (and I am afraid I would do the same) think they are doing their children a favor by giving them this safety net. It sounds like you are making him WORK for it, which will help him in so many ways. Hats off to you and to your son!! One thing my AH told me was that he has to remember all the time that behind the drinking the underlying issues are still there and he has to be prepared to deal with those all the time. For him extreme anxiety and depression.

If your son has not dealt with his dad's death he does need that counseling. It will be good for him and for you too!

Hugs and God Bless! Thanks so much for sharing!