Does the AB or spouse return? Do they return to the person you met sober and love? Do they return to the unselfish human they once were? Does the rejection and distance and lack of engagement go away? Is that part of becoming sober? Will they like/love you again, the way you love them? Has the return of the sober lover, BFF and companion ever happened for any of you?
It sounds like you're in a painful place and I'm sorry about it. Not all alcoholics are alike and it's impossible to predict outcomes. Nobody can. I hope you can stop obsessing about ex and start working on your own issues. Read through this area, there is excellent advice. I strongly recommend Alanon, a program that taught me to take responsibility for my choices, words and actions. I learned to let go of toxic people and to understand I can't have a relationship with someone I don't trust and respect.