My ex would never committ to family functions on the holidays. The holidays to him were a day to abuse his prescriptions. He didn't want to be around anyone that might discover that. He always operated so that he could isolate. He'd always attempt to talk me into just staying with him and not going with his or my family.
I learned that my wants and happiness could never happen while locked in that prison cell alone with him while he chose to use.
Find another way besides him to get yourself to where you want to be for your holidays.