Originally Posted by
ShootingStar1 
I'm not enough, and never will be.
BrokenInPieces, none of us who love an alcoholic or addict can ever be enough. It is not you; it is all of us.
It is heart-breaking, and most of us here have felt the pain and loss that you are describing.
No one can ever fill the hole inside an addict/alcoholic that is burnt there by their drug of choice which then demands, insatiably, to be filled.
No one can do that for anyone.
Wow....yes, this really hit home with me. I felt exactly like this with my XABF. As his alcoholism quickly revealed itself during Round #2 of our relationship, I was left so hurt and confused. I did feel like I wasn't "enough" for him, because he clearly put alcohol first, time and time again. My feelings and needs came second to the fleeting pleasure he seemed to get while wasted....And, in the end, he vanished and I felt even more worthless and inadequate...
BrokenInPieces, I'm so sorry you've experienced this. I know that horrible feeling when it's pretty clear that alcohol is being chosen over you...The very fact that your guy doesn't see the problem, is exactly the problem.....And, that's what it came down to with my XA, as well. I don't wish this on anyone, but if anything, please know that you aren't alone with these feelings. And, also remember that nothing you could've said or done would've made him 'come around.' I tortured myself with those 'what ifs' for so long, and now I do see that the whole situation was so totally out of control....We are powerless as far as what *they* choose to do. Still, we tend to want them to chose *us*, no matter. It's so hard....It does get better with time.