Originally Posted by
dandylion 
When one becomes a single parent, we change our expectations. No more unfulfilled expectations. Reality is actually easier to deal with than high expectations that disappoint us..over and over...and over.......UGH!!!
dandylion
^^^ YES ^^^^
This is a huge thing, can't be overstated. The constant let downs, and bracing for them, and endlessly hoping for something different from the SAME person with the SAME lack of capacity, is soul-killing - for every member of the family.
Letting go of this behavior hurts, because it has become our own ingrained, sick habit, but I believe this is when actual healing and growth can take place.
I am so sorry you are having to be the only responsible adult right now, with the stakes so high. Take heart, you are on the right path.