You're a smart cookie. Making a plan and setting your boundaries ahead of time is wise.
As for the nighttime panics? I pass out like someone clubbed me over the head -- and then I wake up at 1. And 2. And 3. And 4. And somehow, every little problem is magnified a thousandfold at that time of day (and I think my problem solving capacity is diminished by the same magnitude!).
I don't want to do sleeping pills because I'm responsible for children and if I take sleeping pills, someone could carry me outside and dump me in the creek and I'd keep snoring. I've tried herbal teas with some sleep-promoting herbs. I've tried hot baths with epsom salts before bedtime. I've tried alternative medicine sleep stuff. The thing that's worked the best for me is to get a really hard core workout right before bedtime. I used to do an hour on the exercise bike, hard; take a hot shower, and then head straight to bed. That would knock me out.
The advice I got from professionals was to establish a bedtime routine -- for example, "Don't eat within 4 hours of your bedtime; don't drink anything within 3 hours of your bedtime; turn off electronics immediately after dinner; take a hot bath an hour before bedtime; have a glass of warm milk 30 minutes before bedtime; turn your light out at the same time every night". And I'm sure that works wonders if your life is such that you are able to HAVE A ROUTINE THAT STARTS FOUR HOURS BEFORE YOU FALL ASLEEP. I have a full time job. I have kids. Kids who have activities. And it's not at all unusual that I discover after the kids have gone to bed that we have NOTHING for breakfast OR to pack lunches with and I have to run to the store at 11 pm.
Sorry about the rant there.
I think my advice on sleeping issues is TRY EVERYTHING. Helpful, huH?