Hi Dancedonbars and welcome to SR. I had similar experiences to yourself binged then regretted it. I had my first alcohol free holiday last month, when we went out for meals I had tonic water, my favourite soft drink.
Perhaps you can find a soft drink out there from the vast choices which you enjoy. The bonus for me is I remember all of the evening and don't have any hangovers, regrets the next day. All the best.