Welcome to the forum, BrokenInPieces. Please keep posting. There is a lot of support and knowledge among the people here.
I'm sorry you are feeling so sad and down.
This isn't going to be easy to do, but try your best to refocus on facts when your feelings get the best of you..when you feel upset, longing for those good times and feelings, turn that thought around and remind yourself of things such as: if it was that painful to deal with, it would have been infinitely harder to deal with had you lived with him; that while you describe him as wonderful aside from drinking (and I'm not saying he has zero good qualities) he was actually, in my opinion, abusive toward you when confronted with his drinking problem; things like that. What you are doing by reminding yourself of these things is making the best out of a situation that is causing you pain. In other words, it could have been far worse, and in the long run, you are avoiding more pain. You were right, insightful, and very smart to not move in with him. I'm married to one...there were red flags...I didn't listen to that little voice inside of me like you did...and it's a nightmare.
Heart ache SUCKS. It just does. Fact.
Also fact: as cliche as it sounds, with time, the pain will lose that horrible raw quality, and you will heal. Though that's not very comforting when the wound is fresh, just knowing that you WILL eventually feel better can help to get you through some of the hard days ahead.
The fact that he went off, talking about making "concession after concession" for you (hmmm....yet he's still drinking? Sounds like quacking to me...in other words, sounds like BS), and harshly insisting on no contact of any kind simply because you have (valid!) concerns about his drinking...that right there tells you all you need to know about what kind of "life" you would've had with him. Remember that you are mourning your DREAMS of what life COULD HAVE been like with him - and that the reality of what life WOULD HAVE been like with him is another story. It hurts to have a dream stomped. Be kind to yourself and make yourself a priority at this time.
I can promise you that living with him would have been so much worse...the resentment that builds night after night, day after day of the same old bullsh!t is horrible and unhealthy to experience.
Alcoholics don't appreciate it when anyone or anything tries to get between them and their precious bottle. It's not you. It's them.
I am sorry for the pain you feel. Wishing you strength, and the calm, quiet peace that comes with understanding and accepting the truth for what it is. You deserve better.
Peace.