Emmy, I don't know that you have anything to fear about being a single mother, as it sounds like that is exactly what you've been doing all along anyway...
It will likely be easier w/o the negative energy of your AH, not harder!
Keep coming back here, stay strong. You'll start to see your path more clearly and you'll start to realize you have the strength to follow it. You've been pulling way more than your own weight all along; you'll be OK on your own.