I can so understand what you mean if I understood what you meant.
That state of mind is the complexity and the difficulty of addiction. Some say it feels like you have two personalities... at your core, you REALLY want to stop drinking and get on with your life... on the other side is the urge or powerful desire to continue drinking, with doubts included whether it really is worth it, life without alcohol.
In fact, if I understood you correctly, that same issue you're thinking right now is the reason why it took me so long to finally get sober. For me there was pretty much no other way for that but to stay sober,a day at a time, and with time it got easier and easier (with some random stronger crave episodes here and there(in the beginning)).
What I can say for sure is that you won't regret getting sober. I haven't regretted it one bit... But so that wanting to want to quit is the confusing stumbling block of alcohol addiction (imo). Instead of focusing on that question... and not forcing yourself into a new state of mind with that, I'd say just try to learn to live in a relaxed manner and don't worry about wanting to want, or the craves... The craving is a sign of addiction and also it is a sign of healing.
Good luck on your sobriety today.