Hi S! Wow, you are Fantastic. Reading your story has me smiling at the computer. You have a way with words, have you thought about journaling? Helped me, I, too am a sub vet. I kept a journal kind of like this thread...day 1, day 2, etc...then a tapering journal too but lets not put the cart before the horse...your CLEAN today! This is a day by day journey. A beautiful struggle. I, too, attend IOP and always find the topics resonate with each addict. On the topic of assertiveness, I fail miserably. Working on it. I also feel that I have no right to assert myself after all the hurt I've caused in my addiction. But I'm working on it. Congratulations and keep on keepin on. Keep us posted please.