Originally Posted by
LifeRecovery 
I actually just asked about detachment with my therapist. After working with her for years and being in Al-Anon for years I am finally starting to get that I don't completely understand it.
I still don't, but what she helped me to see what detachment is about removing myself from something I don't have any say in already (another person's choices).
It does not mean I don't have feelings about another person's choices.
I really like this distinction on detachment...you said it so well. Could we take it one step further and say detachment is about being able to feel your own feelings about someone's choices without the need to try to make your feelings their feelings? So they can be themselves with their own choices and feelings without you needing to agree with it or try to change it? Even though I'm not with an active A I still think there may be other times in life where detachment plays in.
I totally agree as someone with significant codependency that it is a way for me to distract and not be vulnerable as have a lot of other coping behaviors been about NOT feeling for me.
I am learning in the last six months that even when I feel cruddy it beats stuffing it and not feeling at all. I just continue to struggle with this on my own and not in the "comfort" of my therapist or others.
I definitely agree with the first part.
On the second part I also agree I would rather go through a period of feeling not so great then feel nothing on autopilot like I used to do - you can't feel good if you don't feel bad sometimes.
However I was wondering why you struggle alone father than with the therapist or others? Is this part of the healing I haven't gotten to yet? I was thinking seeking out help is a good thing (goes back to vulnerability) but maybe it's about balance.