I actually just asked about detachment with my therapist. After working with her for years and being in Al-Anon for years I am finally starting to get that I don't completely understand it.
I still don't, but what she helped me to see what detachment is about removing myself from something I don't have any say in already (another person's choices).
It does not mean I don't have feelings about another person's choices.
I get the two very mixed up. Part is my co-dependency, part is my fear of emotions as I did not learn that they existed as a child etc.
I totally agree as someone with significant codependency that it is a way for me to distract and not be vulnerable as have a lot of other coping behaviors been about NOT feeling for me.
I am learning in the last six months that even when I feel cruddy it beats stuffing it and not feeling at all. I just continue to struggle with this on my own and not in the "comfort" of my therapist or others.
Great thread.