Originally Posted by
Katchie 
To me, in order to survive the predicament I find myself, I would need to find a way to healthfully 'numb', if you want to call it that, my hurt, anger, fill in the blank with your appropriate emotion, or risk codependent attitudes and behaviors.
Detachment is not the act of numbing your feelings to deal/survive the day or situation at hand. It's not about using a positive numbing or negative numbing. You eluded to a negative one with the ice cream reference =).
To me it's more of accepting the situation at hand, and loosening/cutting the emotional strings that cause you to be constantly reacting vs calmly assessing the situation and acting accordingly. A nice walk may help you detach, but it's not numbing. It's you relaxing, talking to yourself and turning the focus on you.
Aeryn, I also have family of origin issues that stem from my father which lead me to be involved with my xagf. They are both narcissists and abuse alcohol. I didn't even know the term until I found myself in a huge predicament (to put it lightly).
Codependency from what I understand (this is just based on what I've learned in therapy) is actually a way of numbing real emotions...so emotions don't cause it, codependency is used to suppress real feelings. My therapist explained it like this: codependents are so busy focusing on someone else they don't focus on their own feelings, desires, or vulnerabilities or their real selves.
I believe this is a characteristic of codependency and not a definition of codependency. Codie's really get a high off helping others and making others a priority. It's our way of not having to deal with our own issues. We take this to the extreme and stop taking care of ourselves (for example when in a relationship with an alcoholic).
You may be more codependent than you think =P. It's no coincidence I was attracted to my x. Sure my previous x before her didn't bring out my codie nature in full force, but in other walks of life I can see it at play, although not as strongly.