Hmm...well I'm not sure I'm the best person to give relationship advice. Before I met H I was completely promiscuous , lacking in boundaries and a bit of a psycho girlfriend I think! I veered between wanting to be totally in control and treating partners like sh*t, to being needy and clingy. I was very unstable and went from one dysfunctional relationship to another. It was only when I met H, who had his own clear boundaries and who proved to be a stable influence on me that I really settled down. Obviously, we then went on to have our own alcoholic codependent relationship for many years!
As for your current situation...not your fault! You couldn't have predicted he was already in a relationship with someone. Anyway who is cool and mature when they first meet someone? I think it may be that you just haven't met the right person yet Hypo. Do what feels right, and as long as you feel you are treating yourself with respect you should be ok.
If I'd have waited til I felt emotionally mature enough for a relationship before starting one, I'd still be waiting!!
Don't let it get to you xxx
I'm ok. Worried about our son who was so drunk last night he was sick over himself in the night. He is a concern to me. I did post about it a while back in the alcoholism forum but I got advice to kick him out which I though was a bit harsh. He's a good kid, but I just don't know what normal looks like as regards drinking. It's causing a bit of an issue between me and H because he just doesn't see it in the same light as me, and the pair of them were laughing about it. I felt like screaming at them both, but I didn't as I'm totally grown up now(?!). I talked to him later about it, but I know there's little I can do. Sigh. I hate alcohol, I really do.x