I was going to post about how I'm a different person at work and how half my life is a huge performance, about how I act the part etc...but I'm not sure that's really true any more. I used to feel I was fragmented into lots of different versions of me. The manager. The friend. The wife. The Mum. It was really quite exhausting being all those people and it led to a great amount of anxiety that I would be 'found out'... But I think part of my journey, a big part, has been about being honest and becoming comfortable with me. No more hiding or pretending. It isn't always easy but it is feeling more and more natural now.
The only part of me that still wants to run away screaming is the daughter role. I just can't be me in that one, I guess because my parents have no idea who I really am and I don't want to share that with them either. They assigned me a role early in my life and I've played it for years. I stepped away when I got sober and now I should really be able to move back in as me now. But I just can't. Not yet anyway. This is still an area in my life that I struggle with, but I need to make my peace and let go somehow....
Yeah Hypo, going to the pub doesn't phase me either now.
Progress...yeah!
Last day at work then a week off...can't wait
Have a happy Friday xxx