My phone app has ceased to work so I am having to do this the new old fashioned way.
Hm, as far as people at work I tend to keep my distance as much as possible. One of my faults is the thinking that I can't let you know me because if I do you won't like it and therefore use it against me. People don't intend to be hurtful But when they see waysthat your different they tend to tease/poke fun at. While not intending to be hurtful, when your self conscious like me, I take it as such. The end product is that I am very guarded (I didn't used to think that) and especially at work, I only let you see what I want you to see. Whenever I let myself out there to much, I tend to feel... not ashamed, though maybe a little of that, I think its more of a restraining, if that's an emotion. Like chiding myself saying, "now you know better than to put yourself out there like that INH.". End result is that people notice that I am standoffish so they don't approach me as much, and when they do I feel like I can't be myself because they won't approve or will think I'm weird. Outside of work I am starting I am the same just not quite as bad, I don't care as much for peoples approval outside of a professional environ.
As for personal stuff, I am getting a CT scan of my neck today. My voice has been horrendously hoarse for more than a year now so I finally gave up went to medical to get it checked out. I have to get a chest x-ray as well. All of this is just procedural though, meaning its not because they think anything its only to check it out and see what they do find, I am not anxious in the slightest so no worries there. Just looking forward to seeing what's wrong and being able to talk again reliably.
I also found out that after I get out of school I am not going anywhere. I have orders to an infantry unit here on the base I am going to school at so I might as well get nice and cozy for cause I am not moving for a few years. That's good and bad I suppose, good in that I am established here in AA, bad in that this place is a real **** hole lol, I am pretty good at being okay with living in crappy places though, this isn't the first time.
Well that all I have this morning, have a good one all!