I apologize because I don't mean to offend but I'm going to speak my piece and I'm done hiding from saying what I want to say.
I'll start with the fact that I participate but I also bump heads with some situations. This would be one of them. I agree with the fact that we can't fix others we can only fix ourselves and that needs to be the focus. jdooner, I am so glad that you didn't go and drink after this.
However, what has been increasing lately are more and more stories of situations occurring with certain groups or at meetings. The reply is always to focus on yourself and understand that those who are attending are in recovery themselves. I agree with that on some level.
On another level I think that it's only right that when something is blatantly not followed in a meeting that the person should address it with a group member AFTER the meeting. The reply should not be to focus on yourself and not what happened. That's BS. jdooner, I think that perhaps you might have been romanticizing and someone briefly should have spoken and politely asked that you move to the positive and the resolution. Then, leave it at that and tell you if you want to discuss it after the meeting that's fine. There was no excuse whatsoever for anyone calling you out or speaking up at that meeting when you were talking. Even worse, others chiming in. If they had an issue that could have been addressed after.
The woman and the people who joined in are just as wrong. Before every meeting it's stated outright that there should be no talking while others speak.
Any time that there's an issue in an AA meeting and someone speaks up about it the answers are all focused on the fact that you can only change you.
However, how are things like this ever going to be corrected if there is no accountability and the person is made to feel like they have no right or should not take what happened in consideration at all?
AA is a great program that has helped a lot of people including me. I wouldn't be sober today without it.
That doesn't mean that if groups veer from the norm or do something as out of whack as talking over a person that it shouldn't be addressed. There has to be accountability somewhere. If there isn't then groups are allowed to get away from the original intent of helping other alcoholics and that's what I've been experiencing a lot of lately.
Somewhere in the world the worst AA meeting is happening right now and the sad thing is, there are people who are attending.
I wanted to edit to add that these occurrences do not negate the good that this program does. It's just too bad that situations such as this need to exist at all.