jdooner:
I've been to a few meetings where I had unpleasant experiences from the person chairing the meeting or someone else in the meeting, but I hung in there and came to realize that people are not perfect and that the main thing is to achieve sobriety. To do that it may be necessary to go to some other meeting for awhile, wait until the person you refer to is not chairing the meeting (or is she always the "head" of the group, "running" the group? If so that doesn't sound too healthy to me and maybe it's part of the problem. AA groups are often different. Some are run better than others).
Anyway, the important thing is not to take a drink. To maintain sobriety. I hope that AA is some help to you with that but if it isn't then you may do better in some other program. My personal experience was that I benefitted the most from a program where I could get the help and companionship of other alcoholics. Counseling or psychiatry was not enough. That happened to be an AA Agnostics group (even though I'm not really an agnostic or atheist)and even with that group there were occasional rough spots. What I learned was to go with the flow and not try to change stuff I couldn't change. To focus on the good stuff and realize that the only important thing for me was to achieve sobriety, to survive, and to take the long road back to being the happy and mature person I couldn't be when I was drinking. I'm happier than I ever was. I can cope with stuff, stress, etc. that I could never have coped with in my drinking days. Am I "mature"? Well you tell me! I don't want to overdo maturity! Reminds me of a friend of mine who got into AA and said that "He had more serenity than he could handle!" But he stuck with it, didn't overdose on serenity and was sober for thirty years. He died of other causes. I've been sober now for only 25. Working on it! Good luck
W.