Originally Posted by
Yurt 
I am curious Hammer; You have stated that your children are your priority (as they should be), and I would like to know how you tell yourself that staying in your particular situation is what is best for your kids. I only ask because I am on the fence about this with my own situation. I waffle back and forth about whether it is better for my DD to stay or go. She will graduate in 2 years, but I don't see things getting better with AH, and I don't know if I can keep up the facade. I just worry so much about disrupting her life and causing her plans for college to go up in smoke just because I am having difficulties with the marital relationship. You seem to have it together, and with a good attitude as well.
Yurt, you are probably too kind. As far as me having it together, that is. You might have missed some of my nutty on other threads. And it is 4 to 6 Alanon meetings a week you are hearing come out of my mouth (fingers, I guess) because that is what I am getting in my ears.
Presently Mrs. Hammer is being pretty good with the kids. Total crap to me, but ok with the kids. I personally do not take delivery of her crap, and the rest of us tend to laugh about it. If I were to somehow "crash" the household it would be a total crisis chaos for the kids, and not in keeping with each of their itemized specific request for me to hold things together.
They have individually asked that if mom goes off the deep end again, that they want to know that I "have" them. I have assured them that is the case, and will be so. I have banked up some "months" of money ahead so that if I had to take things down, and take months off work -- I could. Also have backup and family available.
Towards working things better for everyone -- well not so much Mrs. Hammer, but no harm to her, I am:
Working my Step Work -- THAT is good for everyone.
Putting a Science, Math, and Art Club together for the kids.
Lining up fun, vacation(s), trips.
Working on work stuff when I am not goofing off on here or the rest.
You know what I do not have in that whole list? God. I think that He really carries the freight. I mostly just run my mouth. And frequently not to His honor and glory. My bad.
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Here are my prayers on this trip. Putting them on here, for if you or anyone else would care to join in. Remember -- YOU HAVE NOT BECAUSE YOU ASK NOT.
Dear God,
Make me a Godly Man; Please direct my thoughts, words and acts to honor You.
Make me a Godly Father; Help us raise Godly children to Your honor and glory.
Make me a Godly Husband; That I may have a Godly wife who: Will Love me and be Loved, Is Open and Honest, Is Well Ordered, and non-Chaos, and has Gratitude. (my Happy Land List)
Make me a Godly Servant; That I may serve my Employers, Customers, Community and Groups to Your Honor and Your Glory.
And make Happy Land be Happy (daughter's adder).
In Jesus Name, Amen.
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See THAT is what I want. Now probably God being what and who God is, even if I do not get that, He has something better lined up. All Good, All God. I suppose a Step 11 Prayer would be much smarter, huh? So let's do that, too.
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Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
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OK. Dear God. Please grant us the knowledge of Your will for us, and grant us the power to carry that out.
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Now tell me, Yurt. When we THAT MUCH pulling for us -- what could stand against us?