Originally Posted by
Lynnett777 
We went round and round at our counselors today. Marriage counselor did his best to hold the mirror up for AH but it was like hitting a brick wall. AH is convinced he can do this without prof help...don't they all. I am getting all the blame and now he is saying I'm a danger to our baby. Crazy things are coming out of his mouth even when he isn't drinking. I am tired of living in a glass house. I just want peace.
L O N G road ahead. Pace yourself, and take it REAL Easy on you. He is not even shipped out, yet.
Mrs. Hammer is back 10 months now, and Crazy Stuff still comes out of her mouth, almost weekly.
Sitting back (way back) and looking at it -- it is Crazy.
That mirror in the face that the T tried is NOT a welcome thing. In rehab they wolf pack them to tear them down. Can't do that in a one hour session in a T's office. And you likely should not be part of it.
You will likely hear much more whacked ahead. Among other things I have heard:
I am/have "poisoned" the kids minds against her.
I am "standing on her throat" to keep her down.
I am trying to prevent her from having a job.
I will not give her money for groceries.
I quit my job(s). [Yeah, I usually keep multiple things lined up now due to the chaos she has inflicted on us]
I do not provide money for therapy.
I have not paid the rent and we are losing our house.
on and on and on and on and on and on . . . .
All just DRAMA fantasy.
Basically if you find the common theme in ALL of this -- They cannot take self-responsibility for ANYTHING. If they did, it would tie back to taking responsibility for the Addiction and getting it cleaned up.
Real Deal -- Some make it, some do not, and even some that manage to not drink, keep the Drunk Mindset.
Meanwhile back to you -- YOU have to do what is right for YOU -- because YOU have to take care of the kid.
That is how I keep it straight. You can only have one number one priority. The kid(s). I have three. None of the kids are named Mrs. Hammer. She is not the priority.