It was that, "Welp, sorry all that happened. Get over it," response that killed me. Like she was wiping her hands clean. This was the first time she and I have ever said the word "rape" between us. I know that Mom denied anything was going on with me as a teenager, so my family saw all my behavior as suspicious and selfish. The only times it's been discussed between me and mom was for her to ask me if it really happened and then later to ask me if it hurt me when she and dad decided not to address it.
So I don't know what to do. Shove it all down and keep it there? Cut off my relationships with them like my therapist suggested? Mmm hmmm my throat sore?
I just feel like my sister showed me her colors. At one point during the argument it was clear that she really needs to feel favored by my folks also, which explains her positioning herself as the "qualified" sister (meanwhile I feel like she's going to micromanage my dad to death). And that it's easier for her to minimize my experiences as a kid so it doesn't ruin her sentimental image of our parents. I guess I know now how she feels about it. She kept positioning it as an issue where mom says one thing and I say another, and she just happens to keep siding with mom because I'm not credible.
I won't be broaching the subject with her again if I can avoid it. I would not have gone down this road if I were prepared, well-rested, and not already feeling yucky about Dad. I felt ambushed. I did and said all the things I've been trying to learn not the do and say. Just UGH.