In total agreement about your son. You are not helping him. You are not protecting him. What you ARE doing is giving him such an effed up lesson on relationships that he isn't going to know which way is up when he starts to form his own. You are teaching him that it's ok to sacrifice yourself and your children for the sake of someone who doesn't give a damn about any of you. As long as you "explain" it and tie it all up with a bow, everything is fine. Finefinefine. I hate that word, honestly. You are doing all.pf this for your selfish reasons, not for your son. None of what he is experiencing with either of you two is healthy.