Hey everybody!
Hey, I'm Mike...
I've been sober for 3 days, 9 hours, and 5 minutes.
So far, it's been okay. Some nagging, uncomfortable thoughts, some weird sweating and weird times, and some of the craziest dreams I've ever had.
So far, so good!
I guess it could be worse. I mean, I know it could... and I guess I'm lucky in that respect. But the scariest thought I'm having right now is "well, this isn't so bad. I could go back... the drying out part isn't that big of a deal..." but I know that if I go back, if I take another drink, that might be the one that really gets me. It could be the one that kills me.
My drink of choice has been wine. Lots of it. At least two bottles a night for... who knows how long. I have a high tolerance and am a pretty functional kind of guy... except for the few times people have said I must have had a "full night" because they can still smell it on me. Yeah... pretty full... here at my place with the TV on and the Big Gulp of Merlot next to me. Fun times.
I'm planning to get into AA, get a sponsor, go that route... I live in a small town but at least there are a decent number of meetings. I subscribed to the Grapevine, ordered a dozen books on Recovery off Amazon, and have told my family and friends that from here on out, things are going to be different.
And I'm desperately trying to convince myself of that... but I'm still more than a little terrified that I'll be relapsing here any minute now, and it'll be worse than ever before.
But for now, one day... hour... minute at a time. Just for today. I'm really, really, trying.
Good to meet ya!
Mike