Hi July, first, you're doing awesome and next, you CAN get through this. What always helped me when that AV is speaking is to go back and read posts to remind me why I came here.
This is your first post on the board. Try looking at it and reflect. Do you really want to go back there?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...302062-hi.html
You've come so far and you can do this! We're here for you!