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Old 10-19-2013, 07:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
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So I'm happy to be sober and proud that it's been almost 90 days. The past week or two weeks though that alcoholic voice has been coming back strong. I'm starting to forget how fear inducing alcohol is and I'm afraid I'll give in. I'm trying to remember truly what it was like but I am starting to see it more as a few bad days but mostly normal drinking (I know this isn't true, but my perception is being skewed now.) I just want to know if its normal to have times when its super hard to stay sober and then times where its relatively easy? Will this time of temptation end soon? I know no one can answer for me but I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement now not to drink.
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Old 10-19-2013, 07:38 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi July, first, you're doing awesome and next, you CAN get through this. What always helped me when that AV is speaking is to go back and read posts to remind me why I came here.

This is your first post on the board. Try looking at it and reflect. Do you really want to go back there?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...302062-hi.html

You've come so far and you can do this! We're here for you!
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Old 10-19-2013, 07:46 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by July2413 View Post
So I'm happy to be sober and proud that it's been almost 90 days. The past week or two weeks though that alcoholic voice has been coming back strong. I'm starting to forget how fear inducing alcohol is and I'm afraid I'll give in. I'm trying to remember truly what it was like but I am starting to see it more as a few bad days but mostly normal drinking (I know this isn't true, but my perception is being skewed now.) I just want to know if its normal to have times when its super hard to stay sober and then times where its relatively easy? Will this time of temptation end soon? I know no one can answer for me but I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement now not to drink.
I think it is normal. I had about a year and a half sober and never even had urges anymore. Then one night i went out to dinner, my friend offered me a glass of sangria, and I took it!!!!! Just like that. And that was 6 years ago. I let myself forgot why I stopped and it made it really easy start again. Do you have posts from your really early days? Go back and read them. Otherwise, read the daily posts of people who are on day 1 again....I'm sure those posts will help you remember why you quite. The AV is very cunning. I'm not far from day 1, and, trust me, you don't want to go back there and risk 6 more years of your life like I did. The lucky ones relapse and find their way back, the unlucky ones do not...and the disease progresses only one direction without abstinence.
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Old 10-19-2013, 08:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yes, your temptation will end.
That's right, by the time you finish reading my post your temptation will be gone.
You are doing great! 90 days is a fantastic accomplishment!
Life gets better every day because each day is all we can be certain about.
Each day is a gift not to be wasted. (Pun intended)
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Old 10-20-2013, 04:47 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Oh yes... struggled at 6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months... it seems to happen in cycles.
right now its easy.... but I don't forget, just 1 drink will makes me crave another and then Im in the cycle of crap again... I read the new comers posts sometimes to remind myself of the desperation and horrible stuff I don't want anymore....
good luck, you have done well, keep it up
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Old 10-20-2013, 05:05 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Yes lifes good at making you forget how difficult it all was, and how much mess drinking caused you.
Try to remember some good things about not drinking , feeling good about yourself, how people react around sober you etc, then remember some of the awful times arguments behaviour lack of money . Place all of the good in one hand then all the bad in a bin (metaphorically ) and when you have a urge make a fist with your right hand and feel the warmth then think of all you've thrown in the bin.
It's a trick but everything counts.
John.
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Old 10-20-2013, 05:47 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I'm at about the same day count as you , I think.

Are you familiar with RR and their AVRT(Addictive Voice Recognition Technique)? I saw mention of the material my first time reading this site and found their ideas to be tremendously helpful.

The AV(beast) is very cunning and patient, it's an insidious *******. However viewing the beast(AV) from the perspective of it being a separate entity , something other than my rational thinking self , has given me the ability to quell its urges and cravings. I have found the AV tends to weaken the longer I deprive it of its life blood of intoxication.

wish you well
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Old 10-20-2013, 06:22 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi July, I think when you've hit a milestone and are motoring along well, you relax a bit. That's when AV pounces - gotcha! You can never relax.
At least you know the beast is still lurking, looking for a ***** in the armour. I have 18 months, was having lunch at a pub today and sure enough it popped it's head up. Didn't get me though because I sort of know it's going to happen from time to time.
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Old 10-20-2013, 06:25 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I typed 'c.h.i.n.k. the armour' and it ***** me? Must have thought it was a racial insult. Just so you know i didn't swear!
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Old 10-20-2013, 06:36 AM   #10 (permalink)
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In AA it's said the process of picking up the first drink often starts long before picking up. We have to watch different aspects and be aware of the different triggers that may cause us to pick up. People have a natural big Built in forgetter. The letters of HALT are a quick self inventory of things to watch out for. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired either alone or mixed together. Yes alcohol is certainly cunning, baffling and cunning. After many years I still remind myself that I'm an alcoholic and when I might wonder what a new drink tastes like I need also to think that I cannot drink in safety today and stop romanticizing what is certainly unhealthy for me. BE WELL
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ALCOHOL-ISM= INCREDIBLE SHORT MEMORY.

I CAME FOR MY DRINKING AND STAYED FOR MY THINKING.

WE ARE NOT FAILING AS LONG AS WE KEEP TRYING.

WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM I NOW CALL SERENITY.
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