Thank you both for your input. I am quite aware of my own terrible, debilitating toxicity and have been working with the issue of survival/recovery for the last ten years. It has brought so much ugly crap to the surface and has given me reasons to keep living and to start loving myself, probably for the first time in my life.
Toxic. Terrible, debilitating toxicity. And I'm not speaking about your brother.
I will be honest and say that I resent that comment. Many people hate the truth, including me, and the word 'toxic' has been bandied around for so long now that there is a hurtful divide between people. Everyone wears a toxic-radar these days nobody gets a real chance. I have been avoiding vampires for years now.
For the record it was my mother who encouraged me to drink in the first place. Then she hated me for it for decades.
I wrote this thread at a time when everything is about to stop festering, I am gonna scream and any detritus will evaporate into the atmosphere to go where it wants to.